Once I’ve set myself in motion. Once I’m moving towards my goal, there’s one thing I can benefit from doing as much as possible: GIVE FEEDBACK!

You see, it is common knowledge that giving feedback benefits the receiver. Some could say that it also benefits the giver by experiencing an act of kindness. What if I told you that with every feedback I give, I can align myself close to my goal, or reduce the margin of error. 

Here’s what happens:

Every time I provide feedback, my ego is listening and its job is to automate behaviors for my survival. What ever I say in my feedback my ego or my unconscious mind will record as an instruction that can override or re-inforce previous instructions.

Here’s an example

I’m participating on a negotiation on a conference call and I detect a team mate giving out more information than strategically needed… The call goes on, we get the deal although short of what we aimed for, but seems ok for everyone so the show goes on. I feel that we could’ve done better… I’m not sure what to do, keep calm and move on or reach out to give feedback…

Without feedback

By not giving feedback my ego or unconscous mind records: hey it is ok to achieve a bit less than planned as long as it gets things moving forward.

With feedback

I reach out to my team mate, set a time an place and explain what we could’ve done better and why it matters… My ego records: I achieve the goal entirely, no deviations allowed.

This is where the power of feedback resides: on confirming to myself what is allowed and what is not. So that my unconscious mind (habits) work aligned to my conscious plans. You see, the unconscious mind is literal and doesn’t distinguish between areas of life, so my response to a situation on work will be recorded as a possible response to any other area of my life. Every opportunity to give feedback is the way to keep myself on track, to confirm what goes and what doesn’t. Missing out means everything goes. This definitely makes daily situations more engaging!   

Now, this brings the question: Should I give feedback always, compulsively, as much as possible? Well if the situation you’ve experienced is related to your personal goal(s) then yes. This is why probably most new year resolutions are lost along the year… Imagine you have a new year’s resolution to travel more. Then one day at work you receive an email from the finance team saying that all client visits in the next 6 months have to be postponed… You know this doesn’t affect you because you don’t have a client visit in the following months, but still feel there could be a better criteria to solve the budget issues. What do you do? By  giving feedback, you confirm to yourself that travel plans are not postponed, they can be re-designed but not postponed.

It’s no coincidence I’ve published this post on Jan 14th = moon at first quarter. Exactly when the moon is half bright and half dark. Feedback has that connotation: it is known that it benefits the receiver and is less known how it benefits the giver. Also the dark side of the moon reminds how occult it is that we don’t know why sometimes plans fall a part with time and it turns out it is not because of what we’ve done, but because of what we forgot to do.